Tissue
Husband comes home from work and finds his wife standing in the mirror rubbing her breast with tissue.
Husband: Honey, why are you standing in the mirror rubbing your breast with tissue?
Wife: Well, I was watching Oprah this afternoon and she had this expert on the panel who says a woman's breast will get larger if she rubs them with tissue.
Husband: Well, why don't you go in the bathroom and get some toilet paper instead.
Wife: What makes you think toilet paper will work better than tissue?
Husband: It worked on your ass didn't it?